A Plan .. Kind of ..


I have a thirst to slake
Mistakes to make
Chances to take
And a smile to fake
Desires to chase
Tides to race
Fears to embrace
Shadows to erase
Truths to reveal
Secrets to conceal
Heartbreaks to heal
Injustice to appeal
A future to greet
Successes to repeat
Demons to defeat
Goals to complete
Cares to give
Memories to sieve
Past glories to relive
Wrongs to forgive
Tears to sadly cry
Strength to say goodbye
Willingness to try
And the heart to question why

Billy 27/8/15


Out of Adversity



Have you ever felt the beat of a gambler’s heart?
Felt the pulse begin to quicken, as the race comes to an end?
Have you ever known the passion of a lover?
Or the pain of love’s departure as your heart begins to rend

Have you ever tried to stand up to the “system”
With righteous cause, and pride in faith, this bough will never bend
Did you ever think you’d just end up a victim?
Another sad statistic caused by economic trend

Do you wish you had the right to point a finger?
Judging those around you for the misery life sends
Do you think this right would make you any stronger?
Or maybe that such rights could be a way to make amends?

Do you ever want to shake the world around you?
Show them all the darkness, pain and sorrow that impends
Then show them that we need to work together
And show them how to treat each other, so no one offends

Have you ever felt despair and hope’s abandon?
Witnessing the changes, losing that which we depend
Have you ever thought you’ve reached beyond your limits?
Having given all emotion, now there’s nothing left to spend

Have you ever thought of reaching out to others?
Challenge them to look within, if they’ve a hand to lend
I can only hope and dream one day we wake up
And turn this world around then we can help society mend

Billy 18/02/15

Another voice falls silent


As another voice falls silent
We look into our past
We seek connections made
Whether brief, or built to last

As another voice falls silent
We listen for the lark
The symbol that we will go on
That light will follow dark

As another voice falls silent
And time ticks ever on
Counting hours a-passing
And mourning days long gone

As another voice falls silent
With a heavy heart we sigh
Acceptance of the march of time
And another sad goodbye

Billy 23/01/15

The Night Cries


Well, it’s 3 a.m. and I’m still up
Don’t have so much of a sleep pattern, it’s more a random guess
Things kinda happen when they want
A holistic way of living that used get me by, more or less

But the system’s not holding together
Which is why pervasive thoughts invade the dark of night
When defense is weakened by comfort’s lies
Forcing deep subconscious stirrings, unable to run but unwilling to fight

Distorting lines that were straight by light of day
New realities forming in the mist, but not emerging from the gloom
The constant tingle, creeping up the spine
Reminiscent of that feeling when someone walks across your un-dug tomb

Unable even to complete a simple train of thought
The “rhubarb” of random crowd noises , a deafening echo within my own head
Chiding, jeering, mocking.. an imagined assault
A carcass strewn battlefield of reality, from which this tortured mind has fled

Seeking sanctuary as a way to ease the pain
Which I suppose would be best served by trying to close these eyes
To sleep, find some peace, maybe the voices will fade?
But it’s 3 a.m. and I am sat here.. And I’m still listening to their cries

Billy 30/12/14

Inside a Shattered Shell


Have you ever been alone in a room?
Yet somehow, still felt second best?
Do you feel cursed by individuality?
And just wish you were more like the rest?

Have you ever looked into that window?
And watched your own life passing by?
Have you ever just felt you’re unworthy?
But never really understood why?

Do you find that you’ve come to a standstill?
And a smile is a thing of the past?
Do you never allow love to break through?
Because you do not believe it can last?

Is denial of hope just a symptom?
A fear of rejections to come?
Or protective response to life’s heartbreaks?
“I can’t fight, so I’d rather feel numb”

Do you know what it means to feel broken?
Trying to hold together a shattered shell?
Your spirit on it’s hands and knees
When it tried to stand .. it fell

Have you ever thought, you might be wrong?
And that none of this is real?
These constant questions, raising doubts
I know exactly how you feel 😦

Billy 11/12/14

A Mindful Christmas


Guess what it’s nearly Christmas, that “magical” time of the year
The time when we’re all far too busy to think if our actions will really bring cheer
We’re all so swept up in the moment, so filled to the brim with our glee
We assume it’s the same for all others as well so we we fail to look up just to see

If we did take the time to look round us, look into the faces around
You may see some different expressions, you may not like what you have found
We all have our own little crosses to bear, some carry them under a screen
Some hide all their anguish behind a false smile as they don’t want the truth to be seen

Christmas is meant to be happy, it’s a time for our children to play
We shouldn’t be spoiling the moment, we shouldn’t let sadness get in the way
This feeling that this is what’s needed, although feeling that you just can’t cope
Is the true cost of Christmas for many, The tree lights don’t fill them with hope

I’m not saying don’t have a cracker, I’m not saying not to have fun
I’m just saying please think of others, just remember there’s always the one
That person who has their own reason’s, for sadness at this joyful time
Please just be aware that we’re not all the same and for some this is all just a mime

Billy 12/12/2013 😀



Hitting new lows head-on with a smile
Never submitting to sink without trace
A public mask, a screen to stay unseen
Society’s desire, for me to not show my real face

“Stop being so different.. Just do as we do”
“How come it’s so hard to just act like the norm?”
“We can’t have you thinking you’re not like the rest”
“Keep taking your tablets and try to conform”

I can’t help these feelings. I can’t stop these thoughts
I’m a victim of wars that I’ve fought in my head
The result of those battles, a delicate truce
A tenuous grip that’s averting the dread

This border within me, this line in the sand
Allowing some peace in tumultuous mind
This personal feeling, my own private jail
I’m the chain and the lock, It’s my heart that I bind

It’s finding a balance that allows me to breathe
I’m alive, that’s what counts in the grand scheme of things
You thinking my difference is your’s to define
Wont stop me from seeing what my own way brings

So just bear in mind, we are not all the same
Don’t judge me for showing the heart that I show
My thoughts are my own and I’m fighting my war
Am I winning or losing? Well, I may never know

Billy 29/11/2014 😀