Don’t Ask Me

rainfall.jpg

Don’t ask me to explain

Why sometimes

I’d rather walk in the rain

Why words

Can sometimes fail

Or just seem to no avail

Don’t ask me the reason why

Faith as strong as the sky is high

Can be shattered

In a moment

A loosely swaying remnant

 

Don’t look to me for light

Like some kind of

Altruistic knight

I’m not even close

To gaining best

In my own internal conquest

Don’t ever try to understand

The forces that seem

To guide a hand

We’re a different person every day

Each step we take

Dictates our way

 

Don’t look for fairness or parity

In a World  built on greed

Not charity

There is no graciously warm relief

Until first you’ve tasted

Bitter grief

Don’t expect to see shame

Reflected in the eyes

Of those you blame

They’ll always find a way to justify

Or give themselves

An alibi

 

Don’t ask me to explain

Why life today

Just seems steeped in pain

It’s not that I don’t care

It’s just I have no more

Faith to share

 

Billy 14/4/17

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dream for Hope

hopesanddreams

We have to stop
We have to stop pretending it will be OK
We have to stop answering when the greedy pray
We have to stop… And this is what we have to say

“We will no longer cry”
“We will no longer let our young be the ones sent to die”
“We will no longer be usurped and held down by your lie”
“We will no longer be told what to use and when to buy”

For far too long
For far too long, too little had to suffice
For far too long we’ve been experimented on like mice
For far too long we have lived, to your throw of the dice

The time has come
The time has come for us to claim our own
The time has come for us to respond to what we’re shown
The time has come for truth to out, and myth to be blown

We have a choice
We have a choice to be the best we can
We have a choice to be more than just an “also ran”
We have a choice to live for the better of our fellow Man

Maybe it’s just me
Maybe it’s just me that sees the things I do
Maybe it’s just me that needs to learn to see this through
Maybe it’s just me, and none of this resonates with you

I dream for hope
I dream for hope to be the guiding message in my tale
I dream for hope in this age when we’re all set up to fail
I dream for hope to rise above the fear, and finally prevail

Billy 10/12/2016

A Man of Many Layers

changing-faces

When I walk down the street
I’m who I’m meant to be
There is no incongruity here
I’m exactly what you see
At home I am seen as a parent
Protector, teacher, guide
Moulding the minds of young
And nurturing what’s inside
If we ever have to meet
You will find I fit my role
And the person I am in that moment in time
Will seem like he’s my “whole”
Respect will earn you a welcome
A hand I will gladly extend
Your problems will then become mine
As this is how I treat a friend
Come to me seeking solutions
You find warmth, understanding and tact
But wrong me and meet someone bitter
Neither pleasant, nor righteous in act
What I am trying to say here
Is that no matter what you think you know
You only know of a person
The persona they currently show
There is no definitive me
That I can now point to and say
This is the very same person I was
Both yesterday and today
So it seems I’m in a state of flux
Ethereal, like a formless mist
And the only certainty I know about me
Is that apparently I don’t really exist

Billy 27/11/16

Outside looking in

keyhole

Been out here so long
It’s become home
Lost,
And always on the roam
A tree
That never sprouts new shoot
How do you fruit?
If you can’t take root?
A view
Of what I see on the inside
No spark
Like a life of being along for a ride
A life
That belongs to mothers
Sons and brothers
And significant others
But never me
Cursed by feeling free
And unable to see
Just who I need to be
Looking for a niche
My own song
A chorus of longing
To belong
To engage like a gear
Cogs entwine
Toe society’s line
Their World turning mine
A way back to the fold
Seeking gold
Empowering and making bold
…. Even just a flame to hold
Flickering … Hope
Burning somewhere deep within
A new chapter
Waiting to begin
A desire
To just look myself in the face
Find my saving grace
And a way back into the race

Billy 14/11/16

I should listen

innerspeech2

There’s been a whisper
Every time in my head when I make a choice
More a sense of knowing
Than any kind of actual voice
Like a separate me
One that’s steeped in age
Timeless in knowledge
Dripping with the wisdom of a sage
A guiding hand
That would lead me as I go
Lead me to conclusions
That I must already know

And yet this inner knowing
Is left to go unheard
And knowing that it’s from within
Just makes that more absurd
It seems my inner guardian
With answers to my fears
Has faded into background noise
And fallen on deaf ears
The little piece within me
That wants to see me fly
Finds himself outnumbered
By me, myself and I

Billy 6/11/16

It does exactly what it says on the tin

greater-than-the-sum-of-its-parts_400x3001

I’m the sum of my parts
The result of my whole
I wear the scars
Of every missed goal
A life you can read
In the lines on my face
I don’t do “hidden depths”
Those are wasted space
If I’ve lived it, it’s there
Right out on display
In the tones of my voice
In the things that I say
Lessons I have learned
Causes I have fought
Truths I’ve discovered
Lies I have bought
A collection of being
All wrapped up in me
There is no illusion here
I am what you see

Billy 5/10/16

Another side of me

dice

The clown’s got out again
Fuck I need to lock his box
I’m really not in the mood
Is there such a thing as a personality detox?
There’s only so much of this I can take
Burning brightly, while I’m hiding in the dark
Dichotomous energies circle and churn
But have to keep moving, or die like the shark
Tell ya what though
It’s a hell of a fuckin’ ride
It’s only a short trip to the top
But have deceptive depths inside
Grinning, the snake’s venomous smile
The glint of pleasantry, practiced guile
As rough edged caress grinds you down
Small doses are fine. but this has been a while
I mean is this shit for real?
This change, although still me
Or is it just imagined?
And there’s nothing there to see?
Doubts, fear and questions
Dragging myself down
This battleground within
Is the reason I keep him around
I suppose he has his purpose
His reason just to “be”
He is my inner child
And just wants to be set free

Billy 12/10/15