No-One

faceless

When am I going to get my shit together for fuck’s sake?
I really need to give my fucking head a proper shake
Not sure how much more of this shite I’m willing to fucking take
Just sick of hiding the real me to be some kind of plastic fake

When will I accept I’m just as valid as the rest
Stand me up against anyone and put me to the test
But the simple fact is crap like that can’t really judge your best
All it does is re-affirm the shit that I detest

I need to find a purpose, set a realistic goal
Instead of swimming upstream, turn around and join the shoal
I mean lets face it, I’m mainly normal on the whole
But what’s the fucking point, when I’m faced with an empty bowl

How do you quantify something you can’t even define?
How do you make your mark, when all you want to do is shine?
Where’s the right to free expression, when you have to “toe the line”?
How can I call this MY world, when so little of the fucker is MINE?

Well anyway, I’m no-one, just another runner in the race
I join in, though it burns my Soul, I tire of the chase
But no one gives a fuck as long as I bow down with grace
Live, love, breed, fade, die… While taking up our little space

Billy 15/5/15

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No More Fighting Shadows

Pic. by Mizth

Pic. by Mizth

Tomorrow I’m starting again
All this emotional shite I’ve been fighting?
From now on it’s being put to the pen
It can form some new verse, rhythmic and deep
And I can bury it deep in the ‘then’

As if life could just be so breezy
I’d be able to switch off the burning flame inside
Just once, sleep without the usual feeling queasy
Life doesn’t work like that, but it’s always worth a try
They say nothing worthwhile comes easy

Who knows there could be some insight
Some fragments of an inner truth that opens up a door
Allowing shadows long hid to spill and be devoured by the light
Cleansed by illumination, wielding clarity like a blade
Demons exorcised by rapier rays so bright

It’s all in the watching eyes though
Being out in the open can only draw their gaze
Fear dancing in the eyes of those who cannot know
I can only do this if let myself be seen
And allow my Demons to be right out there on show

Can I ever find my own special place?
Where courage feeds the deepest soul’s desires
And I have the strength to fill my rightful space
Can I really fight the stigma that besets me?
And stand and stare it down, face to face

I’ll forgive you if you think I’m rather strange
I’d be thinking something similar if it wasn’t my own life
And I’d witnessed such a variable range
Now the question that I ask is “will you help me?”
That’s the only way that we will get society to change

19/03/15 Billy

The Art of Self Delusion

sel-d

I’m gonna start to run
I’m gonna run and if you wanna keep up you are gonna need to fly
You will need to push your limits to the max if you want to find out why
You will need to really put the effort in or it’s simply gonna be “goodbye!!”

I’m just sick of lagging behind
So maybe it’s time to hush a second and hear the sound of my own riff
Take a leap of faith from the nest that’s held me safely to the cliff
Make some memories worth remembering instead of wondering “what if?”

I’m sure I’ll find my path
I know it won’t be easy, but when it’s time I’ll know just what I need to do
I’ll be looking back to days when I could barely walk, then suddenly I flew
I’ll be looking back to the day when I found I still had hope.. Will you?

It’s not the future I saw
I’m not the man I thought i’d be when looking forward as a youth
To be fair, It’s all my own fault that I’m me at this long in the tooth
But hey, you know, there’s nothing out there hurts quite like the truth

I say I’m going to change
I say it, and I mean it, But then wait for these new times to make a start
And all the while the world moves on and pulls these dreams apart
And here’s me being deafened, by the pounding of my own heart

Billy 17/03/15

Hiding Behind My Own Face

mask

You think you understand me, and can put me in a box
Even though the fear that drives me keeps me wary like the fox
You’re looking straight on at me, but can’t really see a trace
You only see what I let you see.. I’m hiding behind my own face

You’re trying to read a book when it’s closed, a truly pointless task
Looking to find a way within, to see behind the mask
You’re trying to see through barriers my pain has put in place
You only see what I let you see.. I’m hiding behind my own face

I know that need is in there, that desire to unwind
But tempered by my fear of facing up to what I’ll find
You’re looking out for turmoil, but finding only grace
You only see what I let you see.. I’m hiding behind my own face

You should be glad you’re not in here to ride my inner tide
Although I’m sure you have your own dark places deep inside
If only I could break on out, and feel the world’s embrace
But.. You only see what I let you see.. I’m hiding behind my own face

Billy 12/03/15 😀

You Don’t Have To Like Me!!!

 

Self-Censorship-Useful-or-Not

I’m trying to come across as angry
But laughing like a twat up my sleeve
I’m trying to sound all serious
As if any of you fuckers would believe

I’m trying to make a valid point here
And educate the selectively blind
Trying to open-up their eyes to the crap
And rub their faces, in what we find

I’m taking this one for the greater good
Let them throw what they have in my face
Then instead of the flurry of insults and shit
I’ll shame them with honour and grace

I’m very much a creature of language
And happy to stand by my use of it’s tools
Why should I temper my outburts
To accommodate someone else’s rules

It just makes me piss when I see it
And will not change the man that I am
If I did try to be what you wanted
Then my own life would be but a sham

So anyway, what I am trying to say
Is that no matter how loud your cry
I will not be the person you’re seeking
And I’m not even going to try 😀

Billy 17/02/15

New Beginnings

sign

I’ve had enough of this society lark, so I’m getting the fuck out
It’s just not working as things stand, so fuck it I’m building my own
I don’t expect it to be easy, but it has to be better than this
The way I plan on kicking things off will set my future’s tone

There won’t be any politics, well not of the kind we know now
Parties will be a thing of the past, and have no place, or sway
Allowing us to live for each other, and guide without bias or greed
With a system in place, where leaders in their fields, have an equal say

I’m pushing for an ideal, a place where ego and powerlust will fade
Where those in the know can speak up, a place where conscience is key
No one who wants the power to rule, will even be let in the gate
Where decisions are made with the clarity needed for every person to see

One day we will be enlightened, when we realise we can’t eat our wealth
When we choke on the damage we’re doing, we’re killing our very own air
I’m planning my route to this future, I just need the world to catch up
You’re all welcome aboard, there is only one rule.. You had better be willing to share

I’m not against making a profit, we’re not talking communist here
I just expect those who are making, to give back in the way of taxation
You’ll find greed is the root of most issues, affecting this country of ours
If we can kill greed in this vision of mine, we can rebuild this crumbling Nation

Billy 16/02/15

Directionless Pt 2

Ghost_Ship_by_stormyuk73

I find it hard choosing a course at times
You know? It’s like I start one way, then just flip
Momentum trying to drag me onwards
But turbulent, wild, uncontrolled, caught in a rip
Being tossed from wave to wave and choice after choice
Roll up onto the peak, teeter on the edge, then tip
Into the unseen abyss beyond, down to new depths
Then suddenly I am back in the light, and up on the lip
Caught up in a whirlpool, endlessly on the turn, in the churn
Telling myself, “Look man, you really need to get a grip!!!”
Then forgetting myself as the maelstrom renews
A thought, fleeting, almost there, like a name on my tongue’s tip
Hazy, dreamlike consciousness, like seeing shapes in clouds
But nothing tangible, never the whole story, always only a chip
At the mercy of the winds of imagination, drifting across minds sky
The ghosts of my past, and remnants of my soul, the crew sailing this ship

Billy 13/02/2015