An Independent Me

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I don’t need to be happy to be me, I am just me
I don’t need to examine my every move, I can just be
I don’t need others views to guide me, I can see
I don’t need your input or leading, I am free

I can see my way, I know where I can go
I can be whoever I am, and just follow my own flow
I can take things the way I choose, It’s my choice I know
I can move on and leave this shit, I know I can grow

Nothing anyone can say to me, can change this stance
Nothing you can do, can change the steps of this dance
Nothing else gets in here, to hinder or enhance
Nothing matters anyway, it’s not a mood but a trance

Just stick around and show me, that alone’s not the only way
Just be the one to prove, that not every waking moment must be grey
Just have a moment and notice, just what I am trying to say
Just try to be thoughtful and mindful, I can brighten my own fuckin’ day

Billy 1/3/14

the Night

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Fuckin’ hate the night … The dark, cold, shitty night
The decaying remnants of the day that went before
Merging into every other, a never ending bore
A resonating pounding, like waves on lonely shore
Every single nightmare from tales long steeped in lore
All sitting out there waiting, in the dark.. Outside the door
The romance of the moonlit night a memory evermore
Memory of the day’s warm light, ne’er coming to the fore
A fading hope for hope itself, what future lies in store?
I fuckin’ hate the night … The dark, cold, shitty night. 

Billy 7/3/14

Re-Birth

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Why does the night bring these lows?
That numbness, but longing to feel
Just wishing to reel with the blows
At least pain would be feeling, and real

I wish I could send the dark fleeing 
And show it I still have some heart
Some justification for being
A spark to ignite a fresh start

The light at the end of the passage
Cast dull by the fog of my mind
Re-awakened and fed with the message
That I’d covered my eyes, I’m not blind

The biggest of hurdles within me
And the one I continue to feed
Not allowing myself to feel worthy
Not allowing myself to succeed

Who knows, one day I might find it
A way to believe that I’m right
Or someone to show me I do fit
And help guide me back to the light

Billy 16/4/14

Scurry

billybograt

Rat-Race

To think on your feet, to be in the groove
To stay at the fore, to act on the move
To be all you can, to reach for the sky
To always make sure you get your piece of pie.

Push through the gaps, and battle for space
Always striving to keep, your rightful place
never submitting, or stepping aside
All just to maintain some limp, brittle pride.

A life ticking boxes, to follow a plan
No room to allow for the growth of the man
We limit ourselves with our need to expand
When the real life we’re seeking is right here at hand.

The rat race is winning, we lose our best age
We give up our lives in pursuit of “the wage”
We follow the path, laid down as before
In the hope that we’re running up some kind of score.

We miss what’s important, We don’t…

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My Tribute

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They climbed out of their boats,
With bayonets fixed
Screaming their charge
Into war and affray
They just kept on moving,
An inexorable tide
It would later be called
“The Longest Day”

They tramped up the beaches, 
Into stormy hail
Bullets, shrapnel and smoke,
A burning lethal mist
Taking many lives of boys,
Standing proud as men
Months from being children,
Straight from classroom to enlist

The sacrifices made by some 
So others may prevail
Efforts of a Nation 
Pushed too far by evil’s hand
The price we paid for freedom
Are the ones who don’t come back
Someone’s son or father,
Left there in the sand

This is why we do this,
To remember those who passed
A tribute to our heroes
Those who fought with gun and knife
We owe these guys our future
They gave their’s for us
So let’s make sure we all stand up
And thank them for your life.

Billy 5/6/14

My own personal ‘Dark Side’

billybograt

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I’m trying so hard not to touch the dark
Feeling my way through this forest of thoughts
Stumbling from tree to tree by the rough feel of bark
Not even pretending I’m calling the shots

Feeling the shadows and knowing their course
That absorption in primal so hard to resist
Where violence lives with no soulful remorse
With Ego subdued by the Id’s moral fist

Society’s lines, drawn in chalk to my rain
Washed away to the depths where they no longer mark
Yet another attempt to escape from the pain
To reject life as lamb, and return to the shark

Reeling back from the light and emotions unjust
Feel adrenalin surge as you reach ‘fight or flight’
Knowing fight is your choice to appease Nature’s lust
All the while knowing fully, this just isn’t right

It’s the rising above that I need to engage
Get in touch with the…

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