The Comedian’s Heart

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I’d like to take a moment folks, just listen up a sec
I won’t keep you long from the telly or whatever
I just want to apologise, and let you know I know
How much of an arse I’ve been, when I was trying to be clever

You know I don’t mean it, It’s just the way I am
There’s no point trying to change, that wouldn’t be me
So for those still around, I’m holding up my hands
Acknowledging this numpty is the bloke I’m meant to be

Although I’m saying that I have wronged, by being me at times
I only hope you notice though, this is a 2 way street
The same mental energy that I burn in being Billy
Is the energy I use to care, I can also be quite sweet

So anyway when you think of me and remember be being daft
Acting stupid, playing tricks and generally being a cock-end
Just remember there’s also times when it isn’t all so bad
I’ve known other people who reckon, how I am can be a godsend

We can never please everyone. We should never even try
Every different person sees the world in different hue
It’s all about perception, our views, our mood, our heart
I hope you know the fact you judge me, tells me far more about you

Just give this some thought when you’re out and about
Looking at others and allowing difference to invoke disdain
Because basically we don’t know how that person feels inside
That judgement of yours, may cause them to feel the same

Billy 11/3/14

 

A two Sided Game

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One of the struggles we face in this life
Is that nothing will stay the same
So whether you’re ready, or whether you’re not
Moving on is a two sided game 

Your feeling the loss, there’s a gap in your heart
You long for your an end to the pain
You fear that you’ll never feel like you once could
Moving on is a two sided game

The depth of a soul is a thing we can’t judge
Or the heat of a passion’s bright flame
But the flame is alive and it chooses it’s path
Moving on is a two sided game

It’s hard to accept, that you have no control
And you may never get back there again
As from deep down inside, that unbearable truth
Moving on is a two sided game

Billy 3/1/14

 

the Debut

 

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Can you feel the tension building, as you’re tying up your laces?
A living, breathing thing…. Reflected in the other faces
That knowledge and that pride, that these guys will stand tall
The tribal drum of eleven hearts, a beat to conquer all
Desire to achieve, we really want to take this
This is what we’re here for, an opportunity not to miss
All the years of playing games, building strength and will
Culminating in this moment now, a chance to show your skill
You’re going to grab this moment, and play the game with a smile
You’re going to shine so brightly, really go that extra mile
This debut’s so important, don’t give in to fatigue
You have to take this seriously .. Hey !!! This is Sunday League 😉

Billy 18/1/14

 

The Poet

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Yeah! yeah! so you get it, I’m not very happy
Sitting here throwing my thoughts at the lappy
Trying to make it sound valid, not trappy
As I explain once again why I’m feeling so crappy

Looking for ways to uphold my pretence
To stop feelings and thoughts from causing offence
To not only just rhyme, but also make sense
Whilst also still trying to sound quite intense

Exploration of heart and what’s brewing inside
Rolling with the waves and emotional tide
Wrestling with logic and linguistic pride
To present in a form that appears to just glide

So sit down and try it, just give it a go
Open your heart up and let the verse flow
Allow it some room and allow it to grow
And release all those things that you’d much rather show

The sense of release is reward on it’s own
The depth and emotion put flesh to the bone
The words on the page are the heart you have shown
The feelings expressed are the seeds you have sewn

Billy 22/11/13

Self

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Wish I knew why I was feeling so low
Wish I could make these feelings go
Wish I knew how to regain my grit
Wish I was able to not feel so shit
Wish I could feel like i even count
Wish I knew how to climb this mount
Wish I could make myself understood
Wish it would matter even if I could
Well anyway welcome inside my mind
Is this the Billy you expected to find???
Well guess what folks, this is me
The real me you thought you’d never see
Get used to this sight, I am here to stay
It’s time I put my mask away
I’m done with trying to be everyone’s friend
Those days are now gone, they’ve come to an end
Nice guys finish last..That much is a fact
No more pleasing others with empathy and tact
It’s time to be selfish and fend for myself
Because living for others is bad for my health
Anyway, that’s it, I have just bared my soul
Now I am off to climb back in my hole. 

Billy 11/10/13

This was my first attempt at a poem last year after many years of not writing a word… Be gentle 🙂

the Curse of the Sensitive Soul

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Why can’t I just break away, just break away and leave it behind
Walk the road that’s left to me instead of standing still
Just pick it up and walk straight on instead of living, longing
Play the cards that I’ve been dealt, against my wish and will

Why’s it so hard to just face facts, and live the life I’m living
Instead of having to have the things that aren’t to be mine
I’m worth my life, and worth my time, I just need to accept that
I am the only hurdle, stopping me being able to shine

Leaving behind the moulds of our past, is just the way it has to be
Some we get to keep, but others must be shed along the way
Although we must accept that time makes strangers of old friends
There are those we’d gladly resurrect that we wish were here today

Forward isn’t easy at best, It’s worse when your heart is on pause
The energies needed, no longer to hand, those needed for reaching our goal
Focussed on past, on the sadness behind, on words that were left unsaid
But that is the penance for daring to feel, the curse of the sensitive soul 

Billy 8/3/14